weak mommy ..NO be strong!

This is what keeps going thruogh my head as i listen to my daughter (ONE YEAR IN FEB!) cry herself to sleep in her crib. All alone. Well, she has her bear bear and her blankies ...but without mommy. I feel so horrible doing this to her but I have tried every single thing else and nothing works. I cant rock her, she abuses me, I cant sleep with her, she things climbing on me in a game, I cant sit in her room with her, i tried and she stayed up for almost 2 1/2 hours! So this is it. Im broken. My peacefull parenting can only go so far i guess :( HELP!

Dropping clocks

How do you make time fly? By having a child! =) I have been so busy decorating for Halloween, getting things ready for Jules dad to come, then undecorating Halloween! FINALLY, a break. I don't decorate for thanksgiving, partly bc I hate turkey meat. Gross. BUT I have started preparing for Christmas. I have Jules first dr seuss book collection, a few stocking stuffers, & for family we are doing a huge photo session with everyone! My daughter is 9 months, she has been in this world as long as she was living in me ..I wish I could ask her which she prefers, tho I know it would be here because she LOVES people, old people, kids, teenagers, babies! As long as someone is smiling at her she is a happy child. I am very blessed to have such a sweet mannered girl. Lately she has been sleeping with me, I know, a no no. But she will not sleep at night in her crib! She wakes every 30-50 mins SCREAMING! /sigh. O well hopefully soon she will be back to normal, I am thinking teeth maybe?

Count my spots. (jungle theme)

Dark blue throw blanket
Mix of blues & browns throw pillows
Soft paintings of trees & other nature themed photos (key word,softer colors if your doing a bolder look with the main items)
I love a nice leafy print area rug for hard wood floors (like MINE!)

Daddy's home

My darling daughter's father is here, in the bedroom sleeping. I am jealous, because I, on the other hand, am not sleeping at all. Joy.

In the past week, Jules has gone from sitting up by herself, to standing! I often find her standing & giggling when she should be napping! It's hard to believe she will be 8 months. She has grown so much...only 8 months!

I held a friends baby the other day, she was so tiny, so light, so cute! I picked up Jules & almost collapsed under her weight! She has these cute chunky thighs & round arms. Sometimes when she frowns she has a double chin & I can't help but burst out laughing! Such a healthy eater too!

So ...this is my first time with a teething baby! (scared, help, save me,) My poor darling ran a fever & did not feel good at all. She now has two tiny bottom teeth poking through ...stabbing through (when to teach no biting?) But just as quickly as it came on, it left. Today she decided she was feeling SO much better that she didn't have to go to bed until 9 (err) but that's okay, we played with daddy!

Clean..clean...park..clean...

Playful path is the shortest road to happiness

Lately Jules and I have been outside! From sweeping of the porch to walks to play dates (with the cutest baby & mommy) in the park. It rained all weekend, we were going to go to cider days. I love hot apple cider on a crisp fall morning! Sadly we stayed in the house. I was clawing to get out of this house, so monday I wanted to do a bit of shopping for mommy Jules. She ended up making bank! We got an entire outfit for ten bucks! A cute purple & yellow polo with these super cute yellow jeans with studs on the side! She looks much cuter than mommy who is either in a dress or sweats, okay, who is usually in sweats! They are so comfy! I'm going to attempt to make a "rascle" for Jules this weekend (more on this with the link next blog) hopefully it comes out well! I'm excited, also going to finish up winter clothes shopping for me & Jules, hopefully we find some good deals!!

Much love

Does the kitchen count?

Woohoo! I have time to blog! I have moved back to my home town, I have missed the easy of city living, the traffic, the people ...the SHOPS! Jules & I are, unfortunately, sharing a room, but it's cozy and I must admit I like having her near! :] It's been a struggle trying to get everything done with just one hand, and sometimes not even that many! Juliet is starting a "mommy-hold-me-all-the-time-don't-even-think-of-setting-me-on-that-floor!" phase. While I love her & love being close to her, it drives me insane when I'm trying to cook, clean, laundry, & all of the other things it takes to be a mommy & descent looking/living person.

So - I tried homemade baby food. It's most deff not for me! Jules refused to even think about enjoying the meat & the green beans were promptly spit on my shirt. That's my lovely, o so polite, 7 month old for ya. We will be sticking to the (yucky but she loves it) jar gerber food. Less mess & a happy babu? Sign me up! *side note, I still need to get a darn high chair, I'm so picky I already have one picked out! Now to get the BD to buy it!*

My house came fully furnished, and if you have never had a fully furnished place, it came preequiped with a couch, tv, DVD, movies, book cases filled with books, pictures on the wall (tho I had to take one down, it was scary!), even towels, pots & pans, dishes, & cleaning supplies!! I must say, I'm liking it! Tho I did purchase a couch cover bc my darling likes to make messes, I'm having to get tv trays bc the LR table & side tables are glass & too sharp for Miss J! Wouldn't want a hurt baby! But other than that, I purchase small stuff, a little at a time, and slowly I'm building up on MY things! It's an exciting feeling, doing it by myself...scary & I'm so glad for the people I can count on to back me up! I also am unpacked! Yay! It only took me a week! And! It's clean! Except ya know, the sweeping & moping (it's all hardwood flooring) and everyone know the kitchen doesn't count... ...right?

Speaking of hurt babies..I'm so very mad! Like, unbelievably mad, bc I felt SO guilty for DAYS over this! I have a car seat toy from bright lights or fisher price, something like that, & on this toy it has a squeaky, a soft velvet piece, & a plastic ring filled with water. Saturday, here, it was a billion & one outside, sweltering hot, gross. I decided to take Jules to the park, awesome ..not. I am obsessive over checking the metal buckles on her car seat in case they are hot. And of course, they were on fire! So I carefully positioned Jules in her seat, buckled up, & we are off! Luckly, I live 2 seconds from the park, bc she starts screaming! Like, something is not right, she is dying screaming. So I pull in the lot, race around the car, & jerk her from the seat, all the while looking for blood, ext. As I'm cuddling my sobbing baby close, I see a huge welt on the back of her neck ...so I'm thinking maybe a bug? So I'm looking in the car seat ...& go to move this toy, the boiling hot to the touch BABY CAR SEAT TOY water filled plastic piece of s#!t, & then it clicks..Jules was laying on this toy!! I would have never even thought to check a TOY to make sure it wouldn't BURN my daughter. I use our aloe Vera plant (very handy if your as terrible in the kitchen as I am) on the spot all day, and gave her a washcloth bath. She didn't seem to notice it, but I sure did. I wanted to burst into tears seeing it ...even thinking about it gets me sad for my little love. /sign

Get on your knees!

I'm pretty sure that's what my darling was saying when she screeched. I had set her in her crib so I could put some clothes away, I loom over at he'd and she is in the process of pulling herself up. She makes it to her knees before toppling to her side.

Getting to be such a big girl!

Meanwhile I have been busy

Ma ma

Yes, my darling daughter said MAMA perfectly clear today, followed by BABAMABA. Now I am excited for when she says mama..and actually means me :D

We are preparing for a move into our very first home, I am so excited I can barley contain it from bubbling over! Yay back to my home town!

perfect

My darling is in her crib, chatting, sighing, & rolling to her hearts content. I struggle to let her be by herself. I want to be in there; I want to play with her and see her smile at me. I feel like I SHOULD be doing these things, to be a good mother. I have to remind myself, if she is happy, I'm doing my job. ...& I swear I have the happiest, sweetest darling ever. ...usually ;)


Before I'm in bed for the night, I always look in on jules. I cover her with a blanket because she usually kicks them off of her (she is restless) ...kiss a tiny palm or a soft foot. Why do I need to touch her? Why am I afraid I will wake up & this will be a dream? My darling daughter, so perfect. Xoxx

Toe-sucker

My daughter LOVES her toes!! Ever since she found them, they are always in her mouth!! Playing, she will roll over to get them, sleeping in carseat, she finds a way to slouch and get them in her mouth, if she sees MY toes, she tries to get them in her mouth..I hope my child doesn't have a toe fetish!!

I decided today was the perfect day to teach my daughter about antiques. We stopped at a very beautiful store, she picked out everything over $1,000 ...okay or MAYBE her mom did, but IM not confessing anything! We also decided to stop in a little hippy store outside of town & got her an adorable tie-dye onesie. She will look so cute, I can't wait to put her in it with a big crazy bow!

Running around for 3-4 days straight with a 6-month old is hard work! I'm so thankful she is a great baby. We only have "problems" when she is tired or hungry, and those "problems" are solved so easy...

Speaking of "problems", I'm having a "problem" understanding why all these women are always yelling at the children! (such as in walmart, ext) do they not want to take the time to explain why they child can't touch, or have? I understand that, yea, sometimes a kid just will not get it thru their thick skull that no means NO, but constantly yelling!? Come on moms, interact with your kids!! Can / cannot wait until J gets old enough to run & play & dance & go wild with her crazy moma!! Xoxx